The Capitol Theatre Announces The Golden Squirrel Club
Mar 31 / Friday
Join The Golden Squirrel Club Today
We at The Cap have been keeping this a well hidden secret for a long time. Today we are announcing our Golden Squirrel Club! For the past five years we have been carefully crafting this for you! If you’re a frequent squirrel at The Cap, look no further. It doesn’t matter if you’re a flying squirrel, a tree squirrel, or a ground squirrel, because all of you fluffy, music loving creatures are all friends of The Cap. This membership is unlike any other and offers some of the best benefits in the world.
This membership includes the following:
Having a squirrel named after you
This is a huge honor. All of the greats have squirrels named after them, just ask beloved nut hoarder Trey Ana-stash-io or furry friend John Flufferty.
A real live squirrel shipped to your home, nuts not included
These bushy-tailed cuddle bugs are the perfect addition to any household or family. Go explore the wilderness together and learn about your new best friend!
VIP General Admission 1 foot square on the floor
We will use tape to isolate the spot for you. You will have full liberty to decorate the spot with all things squirrel-related and dance the night away.
Early entry through secret squirrel passageway
Full disclosure, the passageway might be a little tight for us humans, but if you’re willing to squeeze it’s all yours.
Free nuts for life
FOR LIFE
Exclusive tour of hotspots for Port Chester’s squirrels
Have you ever wanted the inside scoop on the hottest, most exclusive squirrel hangout spots in Port Chester? We’ve got you covered.
Your very own tree to live in
What’s more beautiful than harmonious human-squirrel co-existence? Doesn't this look fun?
TERMS & CONDITIONS: This is not a real offer. We love all you twig twiddlers and nut nibblers but sadly this is one fluffy, tuffy, tree hugging deal that’s too good to be true. If you were hoping to complete your live music experience by acquiring a furry friend or by educating yourself on where to find them locally, please contact us and we can point you in the right direction. Remember, look both ways before you cross the road and it’s always okay to be a little nuts! Viva la squirrel.